"Lady Catherine Recounts" (A Monologue), written by Big Sister/Makenzie

First of all, I'd like to announce that I've decided to no longer use my pseudonym.  I like my real name.  So from now on, you will know me as "Makenzie."  *bows*

Now, about the story: this is the written version of a monologe I had to write for school.  It's based on the character of Lady Catherine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice, and it 'fills a gap'
 in the story, where Lady C. informs Mr. Darcy of her meeting with Elizabeth: "she [Elizabeth] soon learned that they were indebted for their present good understanding to the efforts of his [Mr. Darcy's] aunt [Lady Catherine], who did call on him in her return through London, and there relate... the substance of her conversation with Elizabeth, dwelling emphatically on every expression of the latter," (Pride and Prejudice, p. 413).  Enjoy!
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[Lady Catherine is seated on a chair].  You will be surprised, Darcy, to discover where I have just come from.  I have been obliged to call upon a certain family, in order to gain knowledge about present reports concerning a member of it and yourself.  The family in question is none other than the Bennet family.  I see you are indeed surprised -such a visit was far beneath my situation. It had to be made, however.  Are you aware of the presumptuous talk that has been circulating about yourself?  It is widely believed, nephew, that you are shortly to be engaged to none other than Miss Elizabeth Bennet!  Your silence, I am sure, is a result of your offense at such presuming claims as these.

 As for my conversation with Miss Elizabeth Bennet- well!  I have never heard such impertinence, and such a lack of regard towards a woman of my standing.  She was determined against acknowledging the truth of my claims - insolent, headstrong girl that she is!  I reminded her of her complete lack of family, connections and fortune.  You yourself cannot be unaware that she has uncles and aunts in [spoken with great distaste] trade. And her father may be a gentleman, but her mother most certainly is not a gentlewoman.  And as her father’s money is entailed away from the female line, her fortune amounts to practically nothing.  But this is not all.  You may have heard something, Darcy, of the patched-up business of her younger sister’s elopement.  It is indeed a disgrace! And what is more, the man she married is the son of your father’s steward.  Heaven and earth! -Can you imagine the mortification of being attached to such relations?

I told Miss Bennet, also, that you are expected to marry my daughter; and that you have been destined for each other from birth.  This alliance is a matter of honour; one that is equal in great fortune and noble birth.  I have expected this happy event for many years; and you know that it was also the desire of your poor, departed mother.  But despite all I said to Miss Bennet, her opinions remained unalterable; though, after much urging on my part, she did finally tell me that she was not presently engaged to you.  However, she firmly refused to promise never to enter into such an agreement.   She seemed to think I had no concern in the matter whatever -I, who am almost your only living relative! And she had the impudence to believe that even if she did not marry you, your marriage with my daughter would not necessarily be secure!  Can you believe it?

Thankfully, I have no doubts that you will soon settle my anxieties in this regard.  Indeed, I know that you will give me your sincere promise that you never have, and never will have any desire of marrying Miss Bennet. [Pause]. Darcy?  Darcy!  Answer me!  Will you not give me your word?  You surely cannot be partial to Miss Bennet! [Pause.  Narrows eyes in suspicious anger] I know you are one who is not easily moved, nephew; so I will allow for your refusal to be a result of the independence of your nature.  However, be warned.  You know that such a marriage cannot be approved of by me, and to enter into it would be to secure my everlasting indignation.  [Stands.] Remember who you are!  You are a man of superior and noble consequence; from a family that has long been known and esteemed. You are Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberly, and the proud shades of Pemberly are not to be polluted.  [Makes a sweeping exit].